First of all, just wanted to say a big, warm "THANK YOU" to my pal Cardin for giving me a membership. It's nice to have support from a fellow artist, who also just so happens to live in the same city as yours truly.
I'll do my best to keep the art coming over the next year, pressing towards the mark we've discussed! Going to keep working on original concepts and art until I reach that finish line and my work can truly be enjoyed by all on a much deeper level!
Secondly, I'd like to give a big, warm "THANK YOU" to everyone who has been offering me kind words and support during this tough period. It sucks losing a car (a very nice one at that) and relying on others as well. There are some more things that have developed on the negative side at my job, but alas, I've reached my quota of negativity this month and refuse to speak of it anymore.
Thirdly, it's time for change, at least the type of change I can implement with hard work and dedication. That means keeping my focus steady on my goals and maintaining a positive attitude through it all. I'm drawing support from those around me, which I don't often do (being a natural loner and all) and allowing myself to siphon off the strength of those that encourage me. I think I have a tough time believing that others really care, perhaps I'm a bit of a pessimist? Maybe. But...I think it's my duty to be open to the possibility that others are being genuine. Perhaps years ago, in my personal pains and trials, I let go of that need of others to be support and supported myself in my own ways. But we're only human, and we have our limits and I think I've drawn close to my personal suffering threshold and have deemed myself "in need of others". Maybe it's pride or vanity or cynicism that has kept me bottled up emotionally and away from others, and perhaps I'll never know when I deviated along that road. But I think, I know, that it's time for that change to be in full swing. And it already is, I'm already moving in that direction. Already healing, already opening up. It's a bit frightening, because such things make me feel naked and defenseless, but allowing that I think will build a new strength that I haven't cultivated yet.
I have a lot of current challenges, but I'm working through each of them one step at a time, as best I can. I'm trying to keep the creativity in the midst of the dark clouds. The pencil has become my ally once again, helping me push through the pain.
Along the lines of that change is a new path, paved with another mind, another drive for creativity. One that stems from a more personal reservoir. What has been created, I think, will take me into new directions. I hope that you, my watchers, my friends, find the subject matter interesting still, as it deviates from everything that has come before. It's just me, in the raw, and maybe for some that might be too much, or maybe just more of the same. Maybe my expression, in the end, does not truly reflect how deep a change I feel inside. And to those I apologize for the theatrics. But perhaps it will, perhaps things will be and look different, perhaps a new voice will speak through my work. Perhaps there will be growth; I'm sure there already is, I have seen it and look forward to sharing it. And hopefully that little special thing that draws you to my gallery time and again, will continue on and grow and develop. I hope it brings you back more often. I hope you see the growth and celebrate with me. And strive alongside me as a fellow artist, creative and human.
See you in the gallery.